Ikue didn't care about herself anymore. If her Ta-kun would've ordered it, then she would have simply just jumped off of a cliff and committed suicide. From the very start, she didn't matter any more. All she had left was to stay by Takasugi's side as repentance for not being able to save him... in that horrible war which she could have done nothing but heal, heal, heal. She couldn't save all his friends.
No matter what, though, Ikue wanted to make up for her failure because it meant so much to her at the time. That's why she grew up because without emotions, the mermaid thought that it would have been just easier for Takasugi to accept her... and not as the weak individual who would simply tie him down; even so, Ikue hated him.
To her, he was always so selfish and treated her like trash. It didn't feel safe being around him with that overly meek and kind attitude but at the same time, she couldn't. Ikue had been traumatized by Eiha's death to the point where she didn't have anything else left; in fact, she openly spoke about being Gintoki or Takasugi's wife in the future as a child upon being asked what her dream was by Shoyou-sensei.
Ikue had been really sad from having seen her mother-like figure, Eiha, dying and turning into sea foam in front of her very own eyes to the point where it actually made her attempt to drown herself... not like that helped. No matter how much she tried, Ikue was eventually found by a certain teacher and his students.
Since Mer-people Amanto weren't good walkers and probably wouldn't be able to survive out on their own, she was... taken in. Of course, mermaids were actually rather beautiful people, so it went without saying that other boys would find her cute or pretty; only, Ikue proved indecisive when it came to both Gintoki and Takasugi. While Gintoki was easier to talk to, Takasugi had been more... cool, for lack of a better word.
Either way, her innocence soon diminished when she became a part of the Kiheitai.
Maybe it was just her trying too hard but she became more uncouth, irritable and 'cruel'-hearted; either way, Ikue still only took orders from Takasugi... because she was the only one left for him, when Gintoki, Katsura and the other Jouishishi members had left but then again, she had no confidence of her feelings being reciprocated whatsoever
As far as Ikue was concerned, the only thing she had got going for her was her looks; in that case, her personality had been quite messed up but then again, the only reason she got a job in the first place was because Hedoro himself seemed to be really understanding and patient of her.
In any rate, Matako was a far better choice. While she genuinely showed that she liked him, Ikue couldn't have done anything at all because there's just no way he would be interested in more than just... the physical stuff; besides, she had more to think about than just Ta-kun. Upon leaving Kabukicho, she had actually left behind those important to her again; on the other hand, not thinking about herself became easier. To save herself much trouble and pain, she would forcibly deal with it through silence.
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